Recently, I’ve decided I wanted to pursue more seriously my long term desire to start a blog and work on growing my Instagram. With this, I’ve been spending more time on Instagram and remembering all the reasons I found it necessary to take that break over a year ago. I figured I write a blog post to organize how I felt and maybe someone else will be able to relate!
Posting Anxiety
I posted a picture today, but ultimately ended up deleting it.
I had a nice Sunday afternoon: I got some Starbucks then went to hang out with my friend Maggie to take some Instagram pictures. I was proud of the outfit I put together, had so much fun taking the pictures, and loved how they turned out (especially after applying one of my presets!).
After we had got home and I had all the pictures edited and finalized, my “posting anxiety” set in. Even though I loved these pictures, I already found myself worrying about the amount of likes it would get. I finally just bit the bullet and posted it. After refreshing several times in the first 45 minutes, I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t okay with the amount of likes it was getting, sooo I deleted it.
Like It or Not
I always find myself wondering why the amount of likes matters to me when usually before posting a picture on Instagram I love it? You would think at that point, I wouldn’t care. I came to the conclusion that this is because taking and editing pictures is something I really enjoy doing; so when I have pictures I’m proud of, it’s easy to get discouraged when the response is not up to par with what I would have hoped. This is even more so the case now that I’ve decided starting a blog and improving my Instagram is something I really care about and want to devote my time to. Sharing something you’re proud of, even if it’s just a simple Instagram picture, can be really difficult.
The Comparison Game
Instagram can affect your mental health
I also think likes are just scraping the surface of the comparison game that is Instagram. I deem myself a confident person (I mean I have my bad days, but who doesn’t), and I think it’s safe to say that even the most confident people can catch themselves comparing themselves to others on a platform like Instagram that makes it so easy. First it can start with comparing likes. But then it can be easy to go a step further and compare your picture to someone else’s, or even yourself to them, trying to figure out why they seem to effortlessly get the results you wish you had.
FOMO
Probably the biggest thing I realized when I deleted Instagram the first time is a significant decrease in my FOMO. Before I took that break from Instagram, FOMO is something that I really struggled with.
This always confused me because I knew myself and knew that I didn’t necessarily want to be out doing all of the things I saw others doing on social media. But I realized that I am introvert at heart. Often times I prefer to be home, I value alone time, and social interaction can really tire me out. It’s not that I actually wanted to do these things that I was “missing out” on, but I felt as if I should be going out and spending time with lots of friends because that’s what everyone else was doing.
I found that when I wasn’t regularly scrolling and reminded of what everyone else was doing, I had no FOMO. I was perfectly content doing what I wanted to do without feelings of feeling as if I should be doing something else.
The Upside
Instagram can affect your mental health, but it definitely has it’s pros as well. At the end of the day, I do enjoy posting and creating a cohesive theme on my account. I’ve recently started to really like creating aesthetic Instagram stories to share my days and outfits. The platform is ultimately a great place to express yourself and share things like outfits, food, experiences, and anything in between. It’s also a way to get inspiration and connect with like-minded people.
Growth
I go in out of feeling like Instagram can be a toxic place. I definitely no longer struggle with a bad case of FOMO. I’m proud to say I embrace being an introvert now (lol)! Some days I post and I could care less about how many likes or engagements it gets, but then I have days like today where I’m easily discouraged. On days like today I just have to put my phone down and give myself a little pep/hype talk.
If you can relate
I’ll tell you what I have to tell myself:
At the end of the day, it’s just an app.
An app filled with surface level highlight reels.
Your follower or like amount has no direct correlation to the person you are, inside or out.
It’s likely that no one pays as much attention to your Instagram as you do (and if they do, it sounds like they’re the one with the problem lol).
Instagram is for posting- post the picture, share the insta story, and don’t worry about what happens after!!
