I asked you guys on Instagram which story- cheer or sorority- that you wanted to hear. Majority said both, so I’m giving the people what they want!
I won’t lie, I do get a little insecure when sharing these stories at the same time. I feel like it makes me seem as if I’m a quitter. But then I remind myself of my reasons and lessons learned. It is then that I am reminded that I am far from a quitter.
Anyway, here we go- sorority time!
Going Through Sorority Recruitment
If you read the cheer blog post, you heard the preface blurb about how I wasn’t involved in highschool and wanted to make sure I changed that for college. Sorority recruitment was just another part of that plan. I had watched sooo many YouTube videos about it before going to college and couldn’t wait. Plus, after quitting the cheer team, it was the perfect way for me to make new friends at school that didn’t live on my dorm floor.
The actual process of recruitment was literally the MOST exhausting week of my life. If you were wondering, an introvert with anxiety and hours on end of repetitive small talk with strangers do not mix well. But once again, I’m still so proud of myself for sticking through it, even when the process was discouraging.
(Also, side note. I was looking for a text and was reminded of the mini scare I had. The night before bid day, I got a call from an unsaved number: every girl going through recruitments worst fear, because they call you when no sorority chooses you to let you know not to show up to bid day. I was literally sick to my stomach… buuuut it ended up being a telemarketer! lol)
The sorority I ended up in is was not my top choice in the beginning of the process, but by Preference round it was 100% where I wanted to be at the time. I talked to girls that I really liked and it just felt like the perfect fit. I had a lot of fun at bid day and looked forward to seeing what sorority life would be like for me!
My Sorority Experience
I LOVED my sorority freshman year. It took me a while to warm up because I can be very shy (especially then), but I eventually made a handful of friends that I really enjoyed spending time with, including my best friend to this day! I liked attending events with my friends and all the photo ops that came out of it. It was fun and EXACTLY what I needed in my life at the time. It introduced me to new people so I didn’t have to rely on making friends in class. I also really liked feeling like I was a part of something bigger, which I really needed; specifically after leaving the cheer team.
I would say me feeling fulfilled by my sorority experience lasted til about the end of my sophomore year.
The Downfall
* DISCLAIMER: I am fully aware that everyone’s experience differs, even if in the same sorority at the same school, because every person is different! At no point am I trying to bash sorority life, so don’t take offense to anything said! It’s amazing for some, and not for others (:
It was towards the end of my freshman year that I started to realize sorority life wasn’t really for me. Summer came and I forgot all about it, but at the beginning of my sophomore year, my desire to drop really started to prevail.
There were a few reasons this happened. First, I started to drift apart from the original friend group I made as a new member in my sorority. When I was in the dorms, I lived really close to a lot of the girls in my pledge class. We would often hang out to walk to and attend events together. After big-little reveal, a lot of them became closer to their bigs and started spending more time with their sorority fams- which I totally understood! But on the other hand, I wasn’t very close to mine. Being blatantly honest- I didn’t do a very good job putting myself out there in the beginning in order to meet and hangout with girls that were already in the sorority. So, when it came down to getting a big, I ended up being paired with someone I hadn’t selected. Don’t get me wrong, she was great and always there to help me if needed. I just didn’t have the same big little relationship that a lot of my friends were getting to experience. I feel as if that is typically a big component of the fun of being in a sorority.
Overall, I started to slowly but surely realize being in a sorority doesn’t mesh well with the type of person I am. I’m an introvert that highly values my alone time, I can be a home body, and I’m not a huge fan of doing things that don’t bring me joy if there is no benefit coming from it.
I live pretty close to home and as a freshman I did find my way home pretty often on the weekends. I didn’t like having to make sure I was back in Kent by Sunday afternoon to attend a meeting that I (no offense to anyone involved!) often found boring and unnecessary. Yes, I understand it’s all a part of the commitment and organization, but I was always frustrated by the concept and dreaded Sundays because of it. There was also the added stress of knowing I had to pay if I wanted to miss more than one meeting in one semester. Not to mention the one time I was in the hospital on a Sunday, emailed to notify that I wouldn’t be attending chapter, and was asked for verification. I mean I did offer, but didn’t think they’d actually ask for it ๐คฆ๐ฝโโ๏ธ. I guess I get it… people lie, and she was just doing her job (she’s a good person!). But the last thing I wanted to be doing was emailing someone a picture of my hospital bracelet with my hospital room in the background lol.
When I moved off campus my sophomore year, I really lost motivation to attend events. Usually, I’m completely content relaxing at home or just using my free time to do something I enjoy with a friend. I prefer small groups over large groups, because to me large social gatherings can be soo draining. Call me weird, but I’m just an introvert. So, trying to attend a certain amount of events to ensure I could participate in the stuff I actually wanted to go to was a struggle for me. I did enjoy some sisterhood events, but sometimes I just wasn’t up for it. I also understood supporting other Greek organizations, but paying to attend events I didn’t actually want to go to got kind of old. I may sound whiney or like I’m bashing Greek life, but that’s really not my intent. I was just beginning to notice that my personal preferences were not aligning with what was expected of me in that organization.
Also, important to add- whenever I attended events, 99% of the time I was attending them with my best friend (that I had met in the sorority freshman year). If she wasn’t going, I really had no interest ๐ I’m sure you can imagine that when she left to study abroad in Spring 2019, I was left asking myself “so why am I doing this again?”
I felt guilty that my dad was paying my monthly dues, just for me to be unhappy. I realized I was staying just so I could say I stayed. I wasn’t contributing anything to the sorority because I had lost all interest, so in turn I was getting nothing good out of it.
Dropping was a hard decision, despite the fact that I was obviously not enjoying it. I struggled with feeling like I was being a quitter, since this was my 2nd thing at Kent State that I was now choosing to no longer be a part of. I also had a little that I loveddd (one of my highlights of my sorority experience) and felt guilty leaving her to be big-less (but thankfully, she had someone that was very interested in “adopting” her from the beginning and she was understanding when I told her I was contemplating dropping!).
I honestly originally tried to go ICMS before dropping officially because I was afraid I’d regret my decision. I wanted to be able to test the waters first to see how life without the sorority would be. But long story short, it was denied for who knows why (still perplexed by this because the reasons I presented in my email were valid ๐ค but I won’t go into that lol). I guess everything happens for a reason!
In the end, I decided then that I was going to drop. I confided in my closest friends about the decision and they all supported me. I sent my email and felt SO good about my choice. I went on a weekend trip that weekend that I would NOT have been able to go on if I still had the obligation of attending Sunday chapter. Once again, I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I haven’t looked back since and have never felt a single ounce of regret. The only bad thing about dropping was all the Insta followers I lost ๐
Lessons Learned
I LOVED being in a sorority, at first. It was exactly what I needed to put my shy self out there in order to make friends and have things to do while at school. I totally get how people could enjoy being in a sorority, it was definitely fun at times! It just didn’t fit me personally and that’s okay!!
I made a decision to drop my sorority for my happiness and for someone else, a sorority could be the reason for their happiness. I’m grateful for the confidence and memories my sorority gave me my freshman year. But I’m also grateful for the free time, flexibility, and self-awareness that dropping the sorority has given me.
Just because something was good for you at one point, doesn’t mean it isn’t bad for you now. You should not feel obligated to something (or someone even!) that no longer brings you joy. Eliminating those things can make room for you to pursue other passions, relationships, or opportunities. What works for someone else, may not work for you. You can’t compare your experiences with others because they are simply not you!
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